Unfortunately, lying is typically a part of every child's life.
Where children pick up lying is uncertain but at some point, they all
give lying their best shot. Obviously, no parent wants to have a child
that lies but expect it and then consider these helpful steps to
stopping it. When it comes to talking to children about lying, the
conversation needs to be formulated for success.
- Start by telling your child that you know he/she has been lying and then provide specific examples. Often, just being busted is enough to stop the bad behavior. Even if it does not make an immediate change, your child needs to understand that you do pay attention to things said and that you will pay even closer attention in the future.
- Then, explain to your child why lying is so bad. Remember that children lie for many reasons, good and bad. For instance, some children will actually lie as a means of pleasing a parent, not wanting the parent to feel disappointed if they forgot to do something. Therefore, you will need to tell your child why lying is a bad behavior, even when done for good reasons.
- Always maintain eye contact with your child. This type of one-on-one communication lets the child know that you are serious. Typically, direct eye contact will make the child feel nervous and uncomfortable. With this, he/she may decide that lying is not worth it if he/she has to go through another conversation like the last one.
- Talking to children about lying allows you to show him/her the type of damage done when untruths are told. For the most part, children never give a second thought to what the lies are doing. This gives you the perfect opportunity to explain how lying hurts and even causes serious damage in numerous ways. Understanding the consequences of the lies might be what your child needs to know.
- Finally, when talking to children about lying, consider a great method used by Dr. Laura. She had a problem at one time of her son lying. She turned the tables on him, deciding that she too would lie to let him see how it felt. One day, she told her son to go to his room and pack his bags because they were going to Disneyworld the next day. Well, he was thrilled and hurried off to pack. When he started asking specific questions, she said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I was lying." She continued this for one week and you can be sure he never lied to her again.
Jamie Sullivan is a mother of 3 children aged between 4-16 years old and an author of "Child Anger Revealed - Your Ultimate Guide To Deal With Them Effectively" at http://www.ManageYourChild.com.
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